


The Art Guard

by etrangerici



Series: Headcanon for The Old Guard [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Art Criticism, Attempt at Humor, Booker hates bad art, Nile Freeman is So Done, Nile Freeman is a Delight, Other, References to Real People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26689240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etrangerici/pseuds/etrangerici
Summary: Nile discovers that she and Booker share feelings about shenanigans in the world of art. Being an entitled ass and creating bad public sculpture is bad. Booker vents his spleen online when he is sufficiently irked.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova (background)
Series: Headcanon for The Old Guard [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942138
Comments: 9
Kudos: 101





	The Art Guard

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Copperbadge and a recurring Tumblr thread. Kinda cracky? Maybe?

Nile was reading a news article on her phone. She hissed, “asshole!” and stalked over to her pull her wallet out of her bag.

Joe looked over from where he was sketching, “Nile?”

“Hmm,” Nile put her phone down and pulled out her wallet and brandished a pre-paid Visa card. “Found it.” She murmured and opened her laptop.

“We’re leaving before too long. Are you sure you’ll receive your shipment in time?” Joe didn’t want to get in the way of Nile living as she chose, but there were logistical challenges to switching identities and living on the move.

“No worries, I’m not ordering anything.” Nile glanced at her phone and typed into the browser window. “I still have some funds on this card, and I want to support this artist that’s getting sued.”

“What? Why?” Joe asked, putting down his sketchbook and leaning over to see what Nile was doing. She had the Go Fund Me site up and was beginning a search.

“Why am donating, or why is the artist getting sued?” Nile asked with a raised brow.

Before Joe could answer, Nile’s search finished, and they both looked at the screen in awe. The asked-for amount had been exceeded by a generous margin. Nile whistled in disbelief. Joe read the information on the campaign. Suddenly, he started laughing and was soon wiping away tears. The noise drew Nicky’s attention from the other room.

“What’s going on?” Nicky asked. Joe just shook his head and pointed at the screen.

Nile was torn between awe and irritation. “It’s a crowd-funding site. I wanted to support an artist who’s getting sued for standing up to a greedy asshole. Joe started laughing when he saw someone donated a ton of money already.” She poked Joe in the ribs. “Explain!”

“Greedy asshole?” Nicky repeated.

“Booker,” Joe gasped. “This is Stuart Semple’s legal defense fund.” Joe snorted again and grinned at Nicky. “Anish Kapoor must have finally sued him.”

“You know about Stuart Semple and Anish Kapoor?” Nile looked back and forth between the two men. “Wait, what do you mean, it’s Booker?”

Nicky finished reading the page and leaned back, squeezing Joe’s shoulder. “Ah, well, it was bound to happen eventually, no?” He smiled softly.

“One of you TALK!” Nile ground out.

“Booker keeps up with the art world. It’s a hobby,” Nicky began.

Joe snorted again, “hobby, profession, one or the other.” He grinned. Nile looked confused. “He was arrested for forgery and joined Napoleon’s army rather than go to prison.” Joe explained. “His father ran a print shop. Booker was a printmaker, engraver, and designer.”

Nile nodded her understanding, “so he’s kept his hand in?” She thought back to that cave in France.

Nicky made a noise of disagreement, “not beyond keeping up our identities and getting our weapons through customs and across borders.” He shrugged, “but he pays attention and Booker hates the privileged abusing the less fortunate.” Nicky gestured back at the screen, “Anish Kapoor’s threats against this artist have incensed Booker for years.”

Joe nodded, “ever since Pinkest Pink came out, Book has had a fund set aside for Semple, in case Kapoor ever followed through on his threats.” He chuckled and waved a hand at the screen, “clearly, his investment strategy was sound.”

“So you’re saying that this anonymous gift of fifteen million euros was all Booker?”

“Yes.” Both men said.

“You’re kidding me.” Nile looked back at the screen, then back at Nicky and Joe. They each spread their hands as if to say, ‘what can you do?’

“You think that’s crazy, look up reviews by S. Louis Trevelyan.” Andy tossed over her shoulder as she topped off her cup of coffee and left the room. Nicky and Joe just sighed.

Nile typed in the name and read the post with the most views. “Damn, this guy does not like Seward Johnson.”

Joe let out another soft gurgle of laughter. “He does have creative ways to relieve stress,” Joe admitted. Nicky just sighed again.

“Are you telling me this is Booker, too?” Nile demanded. Joe and Nicky shook their heads and followed Andy. “Guys?” Nile pressed, “come on, guys!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more context, here's an article about the feud between Anish Kapoor and Stuart Semple:
> 
> https://thetimesofaddu.com/2020/08/08/the-art-war-stuart-semple-vs-anish-kapoor/#:~:text=The%20two%20masters%20of%20the%20Art%20World%20Drama,you%20are%20from%20the%20Midwest%29%20for%20three%20decades.
> 
> And here is a review of Seward Johnson's work, though I think @Copperbadge's take on Tumblr is truly inspired and conveys the real ire of a local at having their fair city repeatedly defiled. 
> 
> https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/2003/09/12/a-bad-impression/f6c8667c-7e23-4cc3-b1c4-ac721513e7ad/


End file.
